SCOOBY DOO WHERE ART THOU
The characters in this story are owned by Warner Bros. & Hanna-Barbearra and are used without permission. SO THERE!
Authors note: This is a story of the Mystery Inc. gang in a historical setting. Think of this as the 19th century Batman in “Gotham by Gaslight” story. In other words familiar characters in different setting!
SOME WHERE IN ENGLAND IN THE TIME OF ELIZABETH 1
The mystery wagon went jostling down the old roman road. In the drivers seat was a tall young man in a shabby green doublet next to him was a huge brown and black spotted Great Dane with a blue-green leather collar. On the road was also three out riders One was a tall blond man wearing a leather doublet of a soldier well armed with sword, dagger, and, pistols on his black warhorse. Also accompanying him was two young women, one was a comely redhead dressed in purple riding dress riding a buckskin mere. Behind her was last but not least riding a small chestnut mere was a short girl with short chestnut hair but dressed as a boy in doublet and hose in bright orange & red. Like the soldier she was also armed with swords & pistols but like a student with glasses.
“ GOD’S BLOOD FRED!” shouted the young man in green “Like where in the name of the Great Bess are we?”” Still in England I hope?”
“Yes Shaggy me lad we are still happily in old’ Blighty and on the business of the Great Bess as well”
“ Indeed my good Captain” Said the Lady- Lord in orange. Methinks you got us lost again-Zoons!”
“Nay Velma my girl we are not lost but simply. …Well misplaced.” Said Capt. Fred.
“OH LORD HELP US POOR SINNERS!” Lamented Shaggy.
The dog sitting next to Shaggy started to make a fainting gesture and made “O ROW RUS RE!” sound.
“Come on you ruffians!” said the redhead” Fred doing the best he can. This is the first time he’s gotten us lost this month!”
“Gramercy Daphne. At least I can count on you my lady.”
The wagon continued down the road in thick forest. Velma road up beside Captain Fred with a concerned look on her bespeak able face.” Captain I do not like the lay of this land at all! Some scallywags could waylay us easily!”
“Aye Velma my girl even thought your not dressed like one. But I do agree! Lets be on our guard! Loosing your blades and check the priming on your pistols me thinks!”
“Tis well that has been done Fred.” said Velma Then turning her attention to the wagon shouted to Shaggy& the Dog named Scooby “Take care you silly boys keep your daggers and clubs handy I fear for us!”
“But Velma do you really think we could be attacked?” said Daphne.
“Aye think of it as a six sense I picked up while serving with Fred in the Low Countries.”
“But gee Velma!” wined Shaggy These roads are well patrolled –at least thought they where?”
After a while the company came upon an inn. The gang was glad to find one in spite of it’s ramshackle appearance the singe over the door said King’s Arms. The stable boy took charge of the horses and the gang wearily trooped into the inn’s doorway and plopped down at a table in the common room. “What can I do for you fine folks?” said the Innkeeper.
“We need two rooms and a LOT of food please.” Fred ordered.
“Surly “ the Innkeeper said “IM glad for your trade we don’t get many travelers lately since the Dark Rider showed up!”
“The Dark Rider?” questioned Velma” Aye sir-er- miss the Dark Rider is the spawn of the Devil himself!”
“Is he a ghost or a common highwayman?” inquired Daphne
“I don’t know my lady. But I do know he’s real enough comes out of the night to prey on travelers on the old roman road. Your party was lucky to reach here by nightfall.”
“See their Scooby we’re lucky we missed him good! Now lets go back to London and tell the Queen that we didn’t see a darn thing!” begged Shaggy
“Right rot aey rorn ring!” agreed Scooby.
“Shaggy ,Scooby!” Velma admonished.
“Very well Innkeeper thank you for your warning. Can you bring us some food and drink now please.” Fred ordered once again.
As the Innkeeper left Fred spoke again “Well gang looks like we have another mystery on our hands by royal command!”
Mystery Ltd. ordered by her majesty Queen Elizabeth the first to investigate the strange happenings on the roads in this part of her realm.
By then the gang settled down to a good leg of mutton and some small roasted chickens, and a block of good cheese. By then Shaggy & Scooby had finished off most of the mutton and were competing as to who would get chew on the bone. After the simple but filling meal the gang retired to there rooms. But poor Scooby was banished to the stable.” Don’t worry Scooby.” comforted Velma’ curl up with my horse Ptolemy she likes you know.” “Yea joked Shaggy there both the same size!” With that everybody went to bed chucking at Shaggie’s bad joke.
About midnight every thing was quite just the wind rustling threw the leaves. Then all hell broke lose in the stable yard a rider on a large black warhorse suddenly appeared. This horseman dressed in black save for two red glowing eyes. This demon then threw a rope to the roof of the inn and swing up into the window of the room the girls where in. But before the burst out of the shadows Velma was ready for him with both her horse pistols drawn and cocked. She fired at the approaching intruder one shot went wide the other pistol misfired. The Back Rider advanced knocking Velma out of the way and knocking her glasses off as well.” GOD’S BLOOD!” Shouted Velma as she fumbled in the dark. By then Daphne rolled off her bed picked up her small crossbow aimed and fired. The bolt went wide as well. In one move he picked up Daphne as she kicked and screamed. Then he returned to the window and jumped out landed then mounted his horse and rode off into the night!
By then Velma found her glasses and answered the thumping on the door made by the boys.” NO-NO not again!” shouted Fred! Shaggy brought in a light and Velma noticed the fired crossbow. Going down to the stable yard Velma noticed in the lantern light the point were the Dark Rider landed and then followed the trail out of the gate. On the ground in the road was a scrap of cloth Velma picked it up and sniffed it.”Jinnkies this is a piece of Daphne’s nightgown I recognize her perfume!” With that thought she looked up at the boys and smiled then stated, “SEE I AM A GIRL!” And then said “She’s made a trail here we can follow if we look and sniff carefully!” With that the remaining gang dressed gathered there gear, by then the sun was up so they could follow. Fred mounted on his horse Backfire Velma On her mere Ptolemy, Shaggy on Daphne’s buckskin Pretty Girl. Scooby being a dog didn’t need a horse but being the size of a pony could keep up. The mystery wagon and the Draft horses were left at the inn
“Scooby do you think can sniff out the trail?” asked Velma.
“Rye rink ro Relma!” Scooby replayed.
The gang followed the trail down the road till they reached a fork in the road.
“ry ringk ray rent ris ray.”As Scooby pointed down the path off the main road.
“Very well lets go down that way!” ordered Fred.
Then as Mystery Ltd. Rode down the path the trees started to thin out into a desolate wasteland and in the distance an old manor house.
“SHOOT!” Not another spooky house!” cussed Shaggy!
“It’s looks like an old monastery.” Said Velma.
“Rull rooks Rookie roo reee.” Said Scooby.
“ But are we sure this is the hide out of the Dark Rider?” Wondered Fred.
Velma replayed” Has to be Captain where else would a creep like that live!”
“ Zonkes creeps like him always live in a place like that!” said Shaggy.
Velma pulled out her telescope from her saddlebags, and looked the building over. The monastery was just as dilapidated as the inn as if none had lived there for a while. But there was smoke coming out of the chimney so someone must be there. “Hey man like wait just one second here!” said Shaggy “Now Scooby n’ me anit going into that spooky house without some nourishment first!”
“Very well Shaggy I just happen to have the new travel size Scooby Snack pack here!” Said Velma pulling a box out of haversack,” take the whole box lads!” With that the boys gobbled the Scooby Snacks down like there last meal-which it might be.
“Hey man there pretty darn good considering they haven’t been invented yet-right Scooby?”
“Rah-de –row Raggy!”ageeed Scooby.
“It will be dark in about an hour lets approach the house then under cover of darkness. Till then let’s find a hidey hole and look to our weapons Ill have no more misfires with my wheel locks!” Suggested Velma. Fred nodded in agreement over what he thought a good tactical move. The gang found a reverse slope of a small hill, there they hobbled the horses and checked there gear and made a plan. Fred then made a revelation “Vel we can’t bring our guns.”
“WHAT! Fred are you nuts where’re gonna need our firelocks to rescue Daphne and capture the Dark Rider!”
“I know Velma but to maintain any element of surprise we have to have no chance of misfires, anyway we still have our swords.”
“Well” said Shaggy That don’t bother Scooby N’ me we have neither swords or pistols.”
“Very well Fred I see your point.” said Velma. “So do you have a plan Fred?”
“Of course I do Velma don’t I always!” “That’s what I afraid of Fred!”
IN the dark there appeared two ordinary Holstein cows. But if one came closer to these particular bovines one would hear some strange sounds. “Moo like Moo man!” “That’s it Shaggy keep it up.” said the front of the cow. While the other cow sounded ROO ,ROO and then came a” SHOOT!” from the rear end of this cow. “I tripped over my sword!” sounded a feminine voice. Then these two black and white cows moseyed over to the gate of the old monastery. Then with an unheard signal the sides of the cows opened up to reveal Fred, Velma, Shaggy& Scooby. Then at a fast run the gang entered the gate keeping to the shadows. “Hey looks like the old cow disguise worked again!” boasted Shaggy.” I think not!” said another voice. The gang turned around to see a figure in black with red glowing eyes.” HOLY FEMWET IT’S THE DARK RIDER!” This was Shaggy and Scooby’s time to run away like a couple of cowards but of course Fred and Velma weren’t staying round to talk as well. As Velma & Fred ran then suddenly the ground gave out under them. They found themselves in a deep pit.”Jinnkes not again Fred!”Are you all right Velma?” questioned Fred.
“IM all right just my pride got hurt I guess Fred.” It was only then the two young detectives noticed that the pit was too deep to climb out of but the pit seemed to be at an end of a tunnel. Making torches out of rags and branches and lighting them with flint and tinder then Velma and Fred carefully make there way down the tunnel.
“Lord I hope there no bats Fred.” Lamented Velma “ I Really hate bats!”
“Oh come on Velma “ said Fred “ those little bats aren’t gonna hurt you-I think.”
Just then a big bat dived bombed Velma “JINNIKES” she squealed and then pulled her hat down low over her head. “Little bats Fred! Thanks Fred!” By then the kids noticed a light down the tunnel then turned a corner into the light. Fred and Velma found a small cell inside was a somewhat disheveled Daphne.” Geppers IM glad to see you-now get me outta here!” demanded Daphne. Velma and Fred with Daphne’s direction forced opened the lock. Daphne gave Fred a hug and a long passionate kiss in the style made famous in France. Velma just received a hug and then she unsung a small pack witch she handed to Daphne.” Here Daph I think you need this.” Inside were a clean chameise, skirt, bodice, stockings and slippers. “OH thank you Velma I’ve been bear foot and in this ragged night gown all day and it’s been kinda cold down here considering I used my gown as a trail marker for the company to follow, IM almost naked!” Velma looked over at Fred with a lecherous look on his face. “Yes Daph it is a bit chilly.” While Daphne dressed the gang wondered about Shaggy and Scooby.
“COME BACK HERE YOU TWO SO I CAN KILL YOU!” Demanded the Dark Rider! “See that Scoob like he wants to waste us man!”
“ ROW NO!” wined Scooby. The two scared friends hid in the shadows and saw the dark menace searching for them his eyes glowing and sword drawn. But an old monastery is a dusty place and Scooby started going ah…ah…Shaggy held his finger under his nose but to no avail.” ‘ACHOO!” And when a Great Dane sneezes he sneezes this of course alerts the Dark Rider to the boy’s location. “STOP SO ICAN KILL YOU!” Like you gotta catch us first dude!” With that boast Shaggy& Scooby take off running again down a dark passage. The passage ended in a lighted room the guys looked around and found them selves IN THE KITCHEN! “Cool beans Scooby like we found the most wonderful room in the house! Let’s see what this dude eats?” The boys found some ham,chese,bread ,mutton ,fresh eggs,apples,chickens and cider and ale to wash it all down with! BEEEEELCH! “Ris rat rall Raggy?” asked Scooby. “Sure is buddy we ate it all dude!” Just then a Dark Specter burst into the room “WHO EAT ALL MY VITICALES IM GOING TO KILL YOU TWO TWICE!” he said. Once again the two friends take off running for their lives.
Fred Velma & Daphne were walking down a dark hallway discussing their situation not looking ahead as usual and Shaggy & Scooby came running around the corner at full tilt and as usual ran right into Fred and the girls.” Folks we have to stop meeting like this me thinks.” Said Fred. By the time the reunited gang got them selves unwound the ghostly presence of the Dark Rider was almost on them. Fred drew his blade in the en guard stance while Velma did likewise. As the Dark Rider turned himself to guard against the soldier and the tomboy suddenly felt a sharp blow to his head. He turned to see Daphne holding Shaggy’s cudgel. “Take that you creepy ahhh CREEP!” He suddenly took stock of his predicament. He was now facing at least two armed soldiers
plus one really big growling dog. It was now his turn to run like hell! “Give it up you rascal!” ordered Fred.” Oh no sir you put up your sword or will you send this cur after me as well!” the Dark Rider continued “But yet again aren’t you all curs of that dog queen of this heretic land!” That was all it took Fred was on him like a shot sword drawn. But the demon horseman knocked the blade away from his body with his own. Velma seeing Fred’s body open lunged her own blade between them. “Ah it’s the little man-girl tell me who is your lover? The redhead or maybe the dog or both!” Now it was Velma’s turn to be enraged and started her attack! “Yes I love them both as a sister and my brother!” with that Velma drew her left hand dagger.”You love this coward of a dog like a brother-I hate to see your mother looks like!” Taunted the Dark Rider. And that was all it took with Velma she attacked the Dark Rider, but she was ready for him, both parried, trusted turned, bobbed and weaved at each other! Then it was Fred’s turn, but before he could attack the Dark Rider in a flash drew and tossed a throwing dagger! Fred ducked as the deadly knife lodged in a wooden beam. While this was happening the daemon rider disappeared. Where did he go? Thought the gang collectively. Fred broke the silence “OK gang lets look for clues!” Velma went to where the dagger was imbedded in the wall “Jinnkies-I know the maker of this blade, tis the maker of my own steel. See Fred!” Velma compared the Dark Rider’s dagger with her own, and both were almost the same,. Good work Velma the first clues we’ve had as yet. Then Daphne piped up “Look Here a piece of cloth is sticking out of this wall!” “This must be a hidden passage.” added Daphne. After a little time the gang got the door open and just inside was that piece of cloth turned into a fill cloak. “Well lookie here folks we got a big piece of evidence here!” Purred Velma. “Bring a lantern closer Shaggy please?” Hmmm lets see what can you tell me master cloak?”
“ Like guys shouldn’t be like after this guy or something?” Asked Shaggy.
“Very well.” added Fred lets check out the rest of this passage lads.” With that Fred, Shaggy ‘& Scooby went to explore the passage. Velma was still checking out the cloak.” Well lets see here.’ Velma sniffed the cloak. “Smells like lavender don’t it Daphne?” Daphne did indeed agree. “Yes it does Velma. As a matter of fact it’s the same sent as I use!”
“Something doesn’t add up here Lady Blake.” as Velma sat back to think. “One the Dark Rider knew what room we were at the inn. Two He seemed to know a lot about us just a moment ago when we faced him. Three He seems to also know where my Sword smith and your Herbalist where you buy you’re sent. And lets look at this cloak.” Velma stood up and held the cloak in front of her then asked Daphne to stand up and turn around then she put the cloak on Daphne’s shoulders. “Oh my stars Daphne this is a woman’s cloak it fits you like a glove!”
“Then the Dark Rider Is…
“That’s right Lady Blake the Dark Rider is a woman and I think a member of the Queen’s court. Plus she has a grudge against us!”
“I can understand the grudge part[as the Queen has shown favor to the gang] Lady Dinkley, but her being part of the court?” asked Daphne.
Easily, My Lady she would have to have knowledge about Mystery LTD. And our whereabouts, she could only known that at court where as you know there are no real secrets.” And by the way Velma added “IM no Lady!”
“IF what you say is correct, Ill make sure her majesty will make you one weather you like it or not!” Joked Daphne. By then the Boys returned with no luck the Dark Rider had gotten clean away again. Velma filled the lads on her findings. Fred thought he-she looked small but for a woman had an arm like iron. Velma reminded Fred. “A sword arm like mine Captain!” “Well it looks like there’s only one place where we can solve this mystery-back at court wherever the Queen is right now! Declared Fred.
“ GOD”S BLOOD woman how can you wear this thing!!” yelled Velma.
“Now Velma all the court ladies do not wear a boy’s doublet they wear girls garb.” Said Daphne.
“I know but I haven’t worn a woman’s dress in years, all this takes some getting used to again.” Velma griped. Daphne knew she had a big job on her hands but with help of the Queen’s ladies she performs a minor miracle! When she was done Daphne stood back to admire her handy work.” Look in the mirror Velma now you look like the lady you really are!” Velma saw her refection in the glass,at her dress, her hair and it was truly her self.
“IM- IM cute! IM pretty! It’s been so long Daphne.” With that she broke down crying.
“I always knew you could do it lass.” Comforted Daphne.
Just then the door fling open and the Queen herself bonded into the room. Daphne had to remind Velma with an elbow to the ribs to curtsy and not to bow. “Oh ladies do get up now what can WE do for my …Miss Dinkley is that you!”
“Yes your majesty it’s little old me.” Replayed Velma.
“Lady Blake has done an excellent job she looks just lovely!” said the Queen.” Now ladies what have you and that wonderful dog of yours found out?” Velma went over the gang’s findings and there clues. With that the Queen ushered the girls out to the garden.
“Here in the open we can talk freely with being over herd.” By then the Boys joined them. Scooby loped over to her Majesty so she could do a royal scratch behind the ears then they got down to business.
It was just after midnight the moon light shown thought the window in Velma and Daphne’s chamber. There in the bed were there sleeping forms. Then by the window a dark shape appeared fumbling with the windowpane then opened ever so carefully. Then the phantom crept in the darkened room crossed the floor then with one move held a dagger over the bed. Then with a flash the door to the wardrobe banged opened and out stepped Velma with her two Wheelock pistols leveled at the Dark Rider.
“You can end this now, this game is now over and you have a date at the Tower my lady!”
“So it’s the little girl-man , so at least your wearing a dress so are going to stop me freak!”
“No I don’t have to.” Velma yelled” Guards!” Then the room filled with guards and the rest of the gang.
“NOW!” boasted Fred “Lets take off the mask and find out who it is!”
With that Velma went over the now bound figure and pulled off the mask only to reveal a young woman.
“Just as I thought it’s Lady Airabella Howard or is it really Donna Isabella de la Pole!” said Velma. With that Queen Elizabeth enter the chamber took one look at the bound woman “Not Lady Airabella !” she almost screamed. “My lady why would you do this!”
The disgraced woman looked up and said, “I did it for the true Queen Mary of Scotland & France for you have no right to the throne!”
“But I sit on the throne of England and sit I shall and like to see any body take me off of it!” Even your Mistress!” said a now very angry queen. Captain Jones we are again in your debt.” The queen said,now much calmer. “But Lady Velma how did you know?”
“It would appear that the lady’s mommy puts name tags in all her clothes like the cloak we found had her monogram on it,all we had to do was first see who fit that monogram and what ladies where gone from court while we were gone-simple really.” “By the way.” Velma added “IM not a lady.”
“You are if WE say you are and from this moment you are a lady of this court and of mine!”
“Thank you your majesty my sword is yours!” said a kneeling grateful Velma.
“It’s not your sword WE want but what’s between your ears WE have need of my lady!”
“Yes my lady.” Replayed Velma.
Continued the Queen to the former Dark Rider “As for you my lady you’re now going to the Tower to visit Master Toppcliff my chief touchier.-guards take this scum away!”
“I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids and that stupid dog too!” said the wicked woman as she was led way.
“Why do they always say that?” Wondered Shaggy.
The gang lined up in front of the throne. Her majesty opened the conversation “Well WE guess this is the time to once again to give Mystery Ltd. Some sort or reward for your service.” “First Scoobert approach the throne we want to give you some more head scratches!” That Scooby was more than happy to do.”Now as for the rest of you ,Fredrick Jones approach Us!” Fred walked up and knelt before the Queen. Her Majesty drew a sword then said “By the power of St. Michel and St.George I dub thee knight arise Sir Fred!” IM also making you Duke of Coolsingham and master of the manor there.” Lady Blake that should satisfied your lord father methinks, now your Freddie is a man of property.”
“Thank you your Majesty very much!” Replayed Daphne
“Just invite me to the wedding dear I love a wedding just not my own, we redheads have to stick together Daphne!” she chuckled. “Now as for you Lady Dinkley for WE have given your nobility last night. But in your new home at Coolsinham house WE guess you will set up a workshop or something?” and turning to Scooby said” I bet a big fellow like you love to chase rabbits and lay by the fireplace too.”
“Res your Rajasty rank roo.” Said Scooby
And then to Shaggy “WE shall do you a favor master Rodgers like WE did for Sir Francis Drake when We let him have his pick of booty…err gifts from us Instead you can have the same honor in our pantry for your pick of food-would you like that Norvill?”
“LIKE YES MAM!”
“Now you have been awarded by US but also remember this you take the love and respect of your Queen and the people of England.” Now get thy selves gone WE have more work of state to do but WE shall remember you in our prayers.” “Goodbye and good luck!”
With that the gang left the throne room with a new life but where still happy to be alive and together as friends!